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Thursday, May 13, 2021

✨ [Long Post] My Honest Guide to Better Self-Care 🌺

Hello angels! I hope you've been well. I was brainstorming some post ideas the other night and I thought that -- with all the things happening in my personal life recently -- this would be the most appropriate one to make right now. 

I'm sure that with everything happening around the pandemic, a lot of people have been feeling the same as I have; like the world is weighing down on us and that our immediate situation is pretty helpless and miserable 😓

It's taken a bit of time for me (almost the entire last year if I'm being honest), accept that I need to actively focus more on finding and creating peace in my life in order to be happy during trying times. This is an especially challenging process for me because I am a sentimental person and I have a hard time letting things or people go, but for the sake of preserving what little sanity I have left I've taken to investing in myself and practicing better self-care so that I may have peace and happiness. 

I hope that this will help some of you out there and maybe set you on the road to better accomplishing your goals (gyaru or not) in difficult times like these.

What is self-care to me?

Before I get to the point I just wanted to quickly touch on what I mean when I say "self-care" because I think the context is important. For most people this usually means indulging oneself for the purpose of instant gratification (aka the "treat yoself" mentality). 

When I say self-care, I am referring to something more long term which is something I would define along the lines of: investing in yourself so that you can reap both short and long term benefits. 

Now that we understand what I'm trying to achieve, here are a some quick, simple and cheap ways for you to up your self-care game and hopefully bring yourself a sense of peace and happiness that you might've never felt before.

Take time to disconnect from the world and reconnect with yourself

Social media is absolutely one of the biggest sources of stress and anxiety for us today. How many times have you felt absolutely miserable scrolling through your feed because you're seeing all your friends and people online living lavish lives or looking fresh to death. It's draining and overwhelming, yet we're constantly glued to our screens because we're afraid to miss out on whatever.

I found that I was often the happiest when I wasn't online. I used to pride myself in answering messages the second I got them and clearing notifications near instantly. I hated the idea of making people wait but I've come to realize that this is causing my social battery to run on fumes.

Start by putting down your phone, powering off your devices, or logging out of your socials about 1-2 hours before bed. Once you get past that, try to increase it (maybe start after dinner), and so on. Eventually you may even find yourself disconnecting for a whole afternoon or day! It may seem counterintuitive, especially now when so many of us live alone or with limited bubbles, but taking time away from online so you can focus on your immediate surroundings is so freeing and relaxing. 

I usually end up getting so much done when I am able to put down socials. I don't tend to do it for predetermined time frames, rather I'll just block off parts of my day to do stuff and not have any of my devices in reach other than for music maybe. It makes such a huge difference in my productivity because I'm not constantly dropping what I'm doing to check messages and notifications. It's also nice to not have my brain preoccupied with anything so I feel like I can think so much more clearly during these offline moments than any other time during the day.

Give yourself the head-to-toe treatment

I think most of us are really good at focusing on one or two aspects of self-care. For example, some people are extremely invested in skincare while others are more interested in diet and exercise. The fact is, all of that is important and we should strive to incorporate a little of everything into our lives so that we aren't neglecting certain parts. 

Over the last year I've developed what I call the head-to-toe treatment. I looked at every part of me from top to bottom and found 1 thing I could do to treat it better! This made a really big difference in my self confidence and overall gave my health and wellness a much needed boost. 

  • Head: My hair is really damaged because of the bleaching process and my hair gets oily really fast so I've always been self conscious about it looking ratty and dirty. To remedy this, I invested in a relatively simple haircare routine that consists of maybe 5-6 products (I'll showcase these in a future post). You don't have to invest in this many products, but this is what I found addressed most of my issues. I highly recommend that everyone get a hair mask though because that shit will change your life and they usually smell really good too!

    My favorite mask!
    Image source: beauty in my mind

  • Face: Skincare is a super important part of the self-care routine. I've always believed that makeup isn't for troubled skin but rather for clear and healthy skin as you can bring out your best face that way. When you use makeup to cover up your skin troubles you risk irritating and exasperating those spots & issues. Invest in some good skincare to treat your skin the way it deserves. At the core you should have a makeup remover, face cleanser, exfoliator, toner, moisturizer, and sunscreen. You can add and remove products as you see fit but I think this is the bare minimum that I'd recommend to everyone!

    COSRX is one of my fave skincare brands!
    It's cheap, good quality, and really accessible~

  • Body: I think body care is usually really overlooked because it's not something we're pushed a lot of products for aside from maybe for tanning or shaving. I've recently had some issues with dry patches popping up on my arms and I've also been getting some acne spots on my back/chest. I didn't pay it too much attention and ended up just cleansing more and applying generic drugstore lotion. After watching one of my youtube subs talk about body care, I decided to take the plunge and invested in a more robust routine. After all, the skin on my body is just as important as the skin on my face, so it makes sense that it should be getting similar treatment! For the bare minimum here I would suggest finding a gentle body wash that doesn't strip your skin too much and a deep hydrating lotion.

    I picked this kit up a few weeks ago
    and have been loving it so far! Will do
    a separate review and post soon :3c

  • Hands & Fingers: This was an easy part of my body to care for when I was still going to my nail salon but now that I'm stuck at home I learned to care for them on a really basic level outside of just the nails. I apply cuticle oil and hand lotion twice a day to keep them feeling smooth and moisturized. Once a week I'll push back and trim my cuticles to prevent build up and dryness in that area. I do my own nails for now because of quarantine and I usually just keep it simple with polygel or a hardgel overlay with gel polish. For the bare minimum I suggest grabbing a cuticle oil and hand lotion. You can find some really cheap and effective ones on amazon or the drugstore!
This is my fave hand (and foot) cream! It absorbs
really well into your skin and doesn't feel greasy afterwards.
Smells great and a little goes a long way~

  • Feet & Toes: This is another area the often gets neglected and I think it's just because people are put off by them in general. They're not the most glamorous parts of our bodies but they are definitely very important and we shouldn't forget about them. For this area I bought a pumice stone that I use every time I shower to slough off dead skin and keep them smooth. Then twice a day, just like for my hands, I'll apply cuticle oil and lotion to them. I would consider everything I do for my feet the bare minimum.

    My pumice stone looks like this! It's just big
    enough to fit in my hand and I love that
    I can just hang it in my shower afterwards

Create a flexible routine or schedule to practice self-care

I'm sure that most of us had pretty busy and chaotic lives before COVID hit. Maybe your days are more or less the same, or maybe you find yourself with a lot more idle time on your hands. Whatever the case, I think we can all agree that time doesn't feel real right now and most of our days tend to blend together, which makes it difficult to set and achieve goals.

Personally I'm really good at following a schedule when it comes to work but the second I sign out I turn my brain off and I just lose all those hours between dinner and sleep. I found that just having ballpark time blocks in a day will really help with this. 

For example, I will always brush my teeth, wash my face, apply skin & hand care twice a day  -- in that order, when I wake up and just before I sleep. I don't put a time on when I have to do these things because I don't stay super consistent due to having a shitty sleep schedule, but by telling myself that I have these tasks to do at a certain point in my day before/after everything else, I manage to always remember to do it. Once it turns into a habit or routine, you really don't have to think about it much because you'll feel really off if you don't do it.

Declutter and reorganize your space

I firmly believe that the home is a reflection of the mind. When you have a cluttered and messy space, it truly feels like your mind is in the same state. If you're like me you tend to live in what is often known as an "organized mess" and while this makes sense to you it probably drives those around you absolutely bonkers. 

Take the time to sort out your things every few months, whether it's clothes, old fridge/freezer/pantry items, shoes, makeup, etc. Get rid of things you don't need anymore. I'm super guilty of hoarding documents and letters because I keep thinking I'll need it when in reality they're pretty much useless after the first week of receiving them. 

Get yourself a box or file holder for these things and give that a sort through every 3-5 years (depending on the kinds of documents you're keeping). You'll save so much space and headache, trust me I've found out the hard way. 

If you're having trouble keeping things organized, invest in some containers or trays to keep your things tidy. You can find lots of really cool and unique storage pieces online and depending on your décor, these can really breathe some life into your rooms. Once your space is clear I guarantee you'll think more clearly as well and have an easier time relaxing at home.

Make some plant friends

I'm not sure if there's an exact science to it but for me, staring at all my plants has greatly increased the amount of serotonin I usually have in my life LOL 

If you find yourself needing a new hobby I really recommend getting into plants. They're not super high maintenance like a pet but you still get the satisfaction of caring for something and watching it grow.

You don't have to become a crazy plant person for this either. There's lots of cheap and office/low light friendly plants you can buy for under $5-10 so you can get started with very minimal investment. 

If you're really scared to take the leap into plant parenthood, there's always the option of faux plants or flowers. Try putting them in places like your bathroom or kitchen, they'll instantly give you a little boost of happiness every time you look at them, I swear!

Be kind to and forgive yourself by allowing yourself to feel

I know what you're thinking, this one definitely feels like a bit of a cop-out step but I promise you it's just as important as any of the steps listed in this post. 

Think of all the things you've been through. Think of all the things you continue to endure and persevere through. We are our own worst critics and I think too many of us hold some form of guilt or disappointment over our own heads over the littlest things. It's really difficult to be positive all the time and quite frankly, rather unrealistic. We will make mistakes, we will fuck up horrible, and sometimes we will just downright have an awful day. 

The best thing you can do is to let these things happen and accept them because you are human and it's part of living. If you feel like sitting in bed and binging your favorite tv show while ordering the most unhealthy takeout you can think of, do it. If you need to lie in your bed for a week straight, do it. If you're putting off starting that new work out routine and you feel guilty for doing so, make a note and put it in a place you will see when you wake up and try again tomorrow. 

You've got to give yourself the time and space to feel and process emotions and experiences, but don't let them control you. If you miss the mark on something you've been planning or want to do, forgive yourself for that and set yourself up to try again. This brings me to my next point.

Set boundaries

So you feel shitty, sad, or any combination of highly negative feelings right now. That's okay!! Do what you need to do to feel better, but give yourself a hard limit. It's normal and fine to have bad days where put off house work, meal prepping, etc. Just know that you aren't any lesser for having these days.

Let's say you're feeling like: "I am going to do nothing but watch The Office for a week straight and eat 2 large pizzas to myself". That's completely fine, but after that week is over you better stop feeling sorry for yourself and get right back to kicking ass. 

Don't waste your time wallowing in self pity and agony but don't deny yourself the space to process the things you feel and experience in life.

Say or think one (1) nice thing to yourself every day

Alright, I know this sounds like another cop-out point, but trust me this really works. If you can say or think one positive thing to yourself each day, that energy carries forward into everything else that you do. 

I firmly believe that you can speak and manifest things into your life, so instead of carrying around a cloud of dread, be your own ray of sunshine. It only takes one positive thought to get started and eventually you'll start to see that there are many things you do well and that you possess numerous good qualities. 

I find that this is also a good way to think of and appreciate all the things I've accomplished and achieved since I often don't pay these things any mind because I'm constantly pushing myself to do more and be better. This is not good for you and will cause you to burnout very quickly. You have to stop and celebrate even the smallest of victories. What good is having goals and working hard if you never celebrate your own efforts? 

Drink water, take a multivitamin, and get your sleep

This one is actually just a cop out point I'm not even going to lie. But it works and that's why anyone you talk to will bring this up when talking about self-care. All of these things are good for your health and skin so why wouldn't you do this??

Buy things that will improve your quality of life over time 

We are all guilty of impulse shopping and trend hopping. I know I've seen ads for countless hot new products and I'm immediately tempted to buy into it. Past experience has always shown that it makes me happy for a brief time when I first get it, then it's on to the next thing like almost immediately lol. 

Try to catch yourself doing this and instead, look for things to buy that will give you joy and improve your quality of life over time. Often times this will lead to fewer or even cheaper purchases which helps you get your spending under control while also reducing clutter in your home and keeping you happier with your purchase for longer. 

These kinds of purchases are usually things you don't even realize you need so here are some examples of things I've invested in and ended up way happier with than if I used that money to buy more clothes/makeup/etc:

  • Good quality bedsheets
  • Silk scrunchies
  • Decorative trays to organize my countertops
  • A bedside table
  • A small shelf for snacks in my room
  • A spice rack (I haven't bought this yet but just thinking about it makes me giddy)
  • A new dish rack
  • Velvet coat hangers
  • A humidifier 
  • Candles & diffusers 

That's all I had for this post! It ended up being a pretty long read but I hope that it was helpful if you got through it all 💖 Let me know what your favorite self-care tip is or if you think I missed something here that needs to be mentioned. Take care of yourselves and I'll see you in the next post ✨

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